You ever feel like you’ve made a really big boo boo? Or that you’ve made so many boo boo’s that you’re frozen, like a deer in headlights?”
If I were looking at my life from outside of my life, it would appear that I do not plan well. In my twenties, I took on raising a daughter, alone, and business ownership. The first was a success, by my measurements, the second was not. In my late twenty’s I moved to Atlanta, and BOMBED horribly. I moved back to CA with two additions to the family: Asha and Kamilah, my little ones. I love these girls. So at that time I felt that I am taken on the world, ventured out, took chances, made mistakes, and repairs. After several years of the “mishap”, I settled down in CA. me and my three daughters. I got used to starting over. It was harder and harder. I got tired, and I felt it.
I’ve been pretty quiet for the past 3 years or so. Last year I got an idea: I wanted to apply to graduate school, so I did. And guess WHAT????? I got in J I was the only person shocked.
Now, I’m in my second semester in the graduate program, and I love it. When I started college at 22, I knew that I was going ALL the WAY, planning to apply to Harvard for PhD.
I’ve driven across the country several times, packed up apartments in no time, but this program (smh as I typing this part), is whipping my butt. It feels like the program is just highlighting how spread out my daily activities are: children in SF, work on Oakland, 1.5 to 1:45 hour commute twice per day, or public transit.
I’m pooped! So I come to the conclusion that A. I need to work, B. I will not give up on my dreams (grad school and beyond), C. referring to A, I need to change something.