Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

It’s about time
September 16, 2013

20 years ago, I didn’t know at the time that I was preparing for this huge step. As I ask for assistance and people say of course I’ll help, my stomach turns with anxiety and excitement. There is a community of parents who make things happen because they have to. These parents are without significant support and means. I hear and am experiencing the call. DID I SAY THAT I AM EXCITED about what is to come? Stay tuned, and thanks for liking and following my blog.



where do we go (in my babyface voice)
October 28, 2012

I’ve reached my limits. I’m in graduate school, and I am very hopeful about my future and my girls future. The adult that likes to run away is thinking of living abroad once I’m complete with my Masters. So i’m looking at different countries and feeling deprived.  And at the same time feeling like how can I choose between so many beautiful places? If any of you have experience with living abroad with children, even if it’s for a short time (summer) please comment.

Any who, for today I need to make things a bit simpler. I’m tired physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Spiritually I’m weak, so tonight I will spend some quiet time with God.



A day to myself, well alos
August 13, 2012

Today was spent with my aunt and adult daughter. The San Jose jazz festival was a cool and calming outing. It’s not often that my family is able to get out of the city, so when I can I take us all.

Today I knew it would be hot and that the girls could play in the water downtown, but I knew that if I brought the young ones along it would not be peaceful for me. I left them with my mom. I only stayed away for a few hours, but it was a grown up few hours.

I appreciate my time.


While the oldest is away
October 28, 2011

The littles are sleeping with mommy. Let’s hope we wake up dry.good night.

October 27, 2011

The little ones had a dr. Apt today, and the 2nd born cried for 35 minutes after getting the nose spray flu “shot”. I was beat, and I took them to school went to work, got off picked them up from after school program. Went to the grocery store, and came home prepared dinner, combed hair. Tired. For all of the people who made children then choose to not participate in the kids lives, *^%# you!

Good Night!

my little baby
October 6, 2011

Greetings from the world of a 4 year old. i looove my daughter. It is very interesting to watch my girls grow up and into their own personalities. My littlest girl likes to pick her own clothes, and her own shoes, and everything must match the way she likes it. This does not mean that the clothes match each other.  So every morning, even if she’s picked clothes out the night before, there are decisions to make. Minds have been changed and the prettiest shirt the night before is now on the ,”I don’t like that list”.  This is only a problem because she does not like to wake in the morning, and she wont make the switch until I’ve walked pass her room and have seen her standing there with a sad face.

It is truly a joy who I get to be for her.


Being the only Parent
October 5, 2011

Today started at 6:35am, so that means I woke late. I calmly got my girls dressed, and there was no fuss and no muss.

Because the girls are in separate classrooms, but thankfully at the same school, I feel a little less connected than I did last year when I had 2 different location drop offs.

I called my dad, who’s in Tampa with his dying mother, and he heard the sadness in my voice. I wished that I had another parent in the house.  He said, “don’t be upset about what you don’t have, be great with what you have”. and “do not wish for something you might get and can’t handle or won’t like” lol. My dad I love him so, and my heart is filled with sadness for him as he sits by his mother’s side.

As  parent who is parenting alone, I’m doing a good job with them. The problem is where I am left.

Today will be here and gone. I will hug my babies and love what I have and what I don’t have.


Catch Up
October 4, 2011

It’s been several days since my last post, and there are several reasons why I have not blogged, but I will not go deep into them.  What I will say is my life needs a bit more workability.

Over the past few days I’ve gotten a lot accomplished, and I’ve been moving one step at a time, AND I see many places where I need plans in place.

As I wake each morning with my lovely children, and start our commute, my enthusiasm diminishes.  I heard myself say today that I hate my life. The parts that I love sometimes gets crowded with the parts that aren’t working.

I want to do more with my money than pay bills. So I am looking for a new apartment in a beautiful neighborhood that cost less than what I’m currently paying.  We have a very large apartment now (size doesn’t matter), but the neighborhood stinks (really).

I’m tired of moving and having this unmanageable life.  Looking for peace.


Sept 30-TIRED
October 1, 2011

In keeping my Blog public, I will not reveal my children’s names, but I feel that it is time for formal introductions.

My little baby, this morning she said, “When I was little, and you pushed me in the stroller, I saw a chicken and I was scared of it” Really? I thought to myself. Her stories are about 2 things: when she was little (she’s only about 3.5 ft tall), and how in love she is.

My second born, Oh boy, she used to cry so much that I had to constantly say, “I love you”. at 6yrs old, she can sound out most words she hears spelled. her appetite is as large as mine. lol her and I share birth order, so when I want to show connection with her, I use two fingers and tap them on my shoulder saying Second born. This ALWAYS brings a smile to her face.

My teenager, she is very helpful, but if asked for assistance, she’ll resist. she looooves sugar, like her mom.  When I look at her, it is unbelievable how big she is. I miss holding her as a small child. Oh when she tells stories, they are long stories. she doesn’t miss a single detail.

Then there’s the mom, single, and have been for the past 4 yrs. I have a full time job, and I hardly ever have a moment to myself. This is because I have not asked for help. Today I’m asking for assistance with childcare, and I feel guilty most times if I’m needing some time alone. I do 95% of the lives for all of us alone, but I’m finding that I need to do less than that. From my experience and desire for my children to be well loved, and me a balanced life, my desire to live alone and be alone, are diminishing.


Ending Sept 28, 2011
September 29, 2011

Today is my mother’s 57th birthday, and she’s in the hospital recovering from a nasty fall.  2 of my daughters and I visited her for a short time this evening.

This day began with us having an extra 15 minutes of sleep, which left us 35 minutes to get dressed and leave for school and work. The commute was quieter than usual. Usually one of my little ones find a reason to cry, and I’m rushing, not physically, to get them to school (those poor teachers).  With the quiet commute, I was able to be with my children for this short time we have before leaving them for 10 hours.

So the end of our day, was lovely. I so appreciate my mother, children and the teachers in between.