It’s been a really long time since I’ve
May 9, 2013

It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything. In honor of my children and mother, I want to write some thing. here it is:

S/O to my girls. My oldest, who I’ve had the longest, we’ve been through up’s and down’s more up’s then downs. I’ve taken her across the country and back 3 times. I’ve attended all her sporting events, replaced at least 6 pair of glasses and 5 phones all of which cost more than what I had. She was my easiest pregnancy and birth and child. She fooled me into taking on

Asha, my 2nd born. From birth she’s cried the river Nile. I was at the dr. every 2 wks my entire pregnancy, and her birth was PAINFUL. I found her soft spot. Asha is a very loving child who loves to cuddle, and eat, and cry. She’s a self proclaimed artist, and a penny-pincher. She’s my heart. I think her unique take on life makes me ever aware of whom I am. When I was pregnant with her, I asked their father for another one. He said “no”, but 16 months later

Kamilah, was born, 6lbs 4oz. my smallest child. I call her my little baby. She’s always slept with me. I’ve felt because she was so small that I needed to watch over her. At 6 she has claimed my very space. Her sisters think she’s the favorite, but she’s not. She’s just my little baby. She will not practice boundaries. What’s mine is hers. She has made it clear that she can and will not be shaken off my sleeve. 

These three daughters are my reason for getting up when I’m beat down. They are the reason I smile, laugh, cry, and have hope for the future of humanity.

This is my thank you to them for making the 5 letter word “mommy” the most special word in the spoken word vocabulary. Mother’s day is every day when you’re a mother. 



I know why the caged Bird SIngs
January 8, 2013

This is a very popular title. Although I’ve never read the book, today it hit me. I sing (complain, hate getting up in the morning) because I deal with sibling conflict every morning. It drains me.  

From Dec 17, 2012 to Jan 7, 2013 my little ones were on vacation, and my adult child stayed home with them, so I did not have to wake them for two weeks and I was able to sleep until after 7am. 

My point is, this morning, the second day back to school Kamilah (6) comes to me crying, saying that Asha (7) is “messing” with her. Asha yells back “she’s lying”. Kamilah falls out on the carpet and starts kicking and screaming. I’m eating breakfast and refuse to get involved with the routine fights of the morning, so I pushed Kamilah to go brush her teeth in the other bathroom. She cried a little longer, but was quiet all the way to school.

Asha was upset that I asked about the events in the bathroom, and almost teared up, but stopped. She pouted until we reached outside, then she angrily stated “it’s cold and i hate walking in the cold”. Now yesterday it was cold, and she said “tomorrow I’m wearing my big purple coat so that I’ll be warm”. Ask yourself, “did she wear the purple coat, or the pretty new sweater she got for x-mas?” You’re correct, she wore the pretty sweater. I reminded her before we left the house that she wanted to wear the purple coat. Five blocks later, she still had a frown on her face, so I asked “what’s the matter are you still too cold?” She said, “No” I asked “well what’s wrong?”… Are you ready for the reply? She said, “I can’t see the moon.”

This would have been funny, if they hadn’t already drained a bit from me with the fight earlier this morning. 

From this point on, I will sing a different tune. No more complaints only solutions.  




Summer Nanny
January 4, 2013

Good Morning, 

I’m creating a project that will involve 20 nannies volunteering their time (up to 10 hours per week) to single parents, who would otherwise not be able to afford help, and does not have family support, for this summer. I am now looking for any research or articles that show the positive effects that regular support has on a family (parent and child). If you know of any leads, please post links in your comments.

If this has been done before, please post links to the results (if documented) and/or nannies, childcare providers, and families who were involved. 

Thank you so much, 




A 5 year olds perspective on politics
October 31, 2012

I asked my 5 year old who she would vote for in the up coming presidential election. She said Obama. I said, “Oh (hearing her address him by last name only was a bit off putting). I asked why, and she well Obama has the American flag and the one with the R. I said Mitt Romney. Her, yes Mitt Romney don’t. I said Mitt Romney is an American too. She was puzzled for a moment. Then she said I’ll vote for Obama because he’s black and I’m black and we are the same.


Remember to vote. For whatever your reasons are for witch ever candidate, make sure that you be heard.


where do we go (in my babyface voice)
October 28, 2012

I’ve reached my limits. I’m in graduate school, and I am very hopeful about my future and my girls future. The adult that likes to run away is thinking of living abroad once I’m complete with my Masters. So i’m looking at different countries and feeling deprived.  And at the same time feeling like how can I choose between so many beautiful places? If any of you have experience with living abroad with children, even if it’s for a short time (summer) please comment.

Any who, for today I need to make things a bit simpler. I’m tired physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Spiritually I’m weak, so tonight I will spend some quiet time with God.



Asha and Mom
September 8, 2012

My 7 year old is the most difficult child I have. She resist almost every new idea, and challenges everything I ask of her. Today, although I suffer from Achilles tendinitis and am in pain, I am committed to finding ways for them to have positive outlets. I signed up for an introductory yoga class, and Asha has been saying no no no no and whining ever since I’ve told them about it. 

what I see in her is my resistance to life and choice. I realized yesterday that I have a huge fire in me to do something big. I am interested in things that I fear like politics, economy and I have a deep desire to learn how things work to understand. I don’t fear the subjects only what I think it will take from me to live a fully actualized life. 

Just for today I will take one step toward becoming who I am meant to be.



August 28, 2012

In the past year, I have gained seventy-five pounds. The event that I mentally trace back to the beginning of the end was the Gal/Wash party given by Dwayne. 

My first love was present with his wife, and Dwayne, my wish love was present and he said ‘no’ to me again. Any who, my love, we were separated many years ago by the Rodney King riots and my mother leaving. As a result of these events, he started a criminal career, by looting, and I started my drinking career, which lasted seven years.

 Once I sobered up, I saw him just a few times throughout the years. Last year, he found me on Facebook, and we talked about the party (reunion) and we both decided that we’d go. When I saw him, I just wanted to hug his neck. I’m shaking my head as I remember the night. After that night, we planned to have lunch. It was never my intention to be anything but friends. He was instrumental in my support when my mom left, and we used to talk all night, and many other bounding things. 

In the end, I posted something on FB he didn’t approve of, and he said so, (This was after I asked that we not meet for lunch because he is married and my heart ached to deep for his presence. We agreed to not be in touch directly.) I responding to his message harshly, and he replied in kind. I’ve been eating every since and I really wish I could see my way out. 

Why is this important to my 3beautifuldaughters blog? My little girls like my fat self, and my oldest grew up with a fat mama, so they are content with my weight. I am not. I’ve made many attempts to gain control, by giving up certain foods, only to turn to those foods when under stress with family, work, or just plan sad. 

My plan is to suit up the little ones and start walking/exercising. I signed us all up for Yoga.


No Title
April 19, 2012

How do I talk about something I have fears about disclosing? When I first created this blog, I hoped that I’d tell it like it is. Well something happened, and now I find myself concerned about who’s listening to me. I have a heavy load on me now, but I don’t think it’s as heavy as my daughters’. Today feeling and knowing I’m powerless NOT helpless scares and empowers me. 



March 28, 2012

it is only fitting to write every now and then about me. I had an evening to myself, so I treated myself to a movie, and i got to sleep through the night. 

I worry about so much. I am everything to my girls, so I give very little to myself. There’s really not much left after work and them. I’m feeling lost right now, and wanting to be and give my girls the world. 

Wonder how that will look. What I know is that I wont be afraid. 



March 22, 2012

My second daughter is Asha. Beautiful, smart, sensitive and very loving. This morning as she came to kiss me, she asked why I wasn’t taking her to school. I don’t remember what I told her as I was very sleepy. What I do remember is that I felt where she was coming from. She misses me, and I miss her too. I almost got up this morning. Almost. So I worked out with my adult daughter that I will take my little ones to school on Fridays. 

This is a good thing, and I need help with my family and am grateful to have it, and it’s hard to let go.