My first born
April 21, 2014

This past week, my first born daughter celebrated her 21st birthday. I guess it was a family celebration, as I am her mother and her sisters were very happy to see her and to share her birthday festivities.  

It’s been 21 years since the first time I saw her beautiful face. I remember her face as if it were yesterday. At 7lbs 1oz, her skin was the shade of lite cocoa. She had thick curly black hair and a skin level mole on her check. The mole is still there.  I named her Chadama, a name that I had picked before her birth. When I laid eyes on her, I changed my mind about that name. I wanted to name her: Beautiful, Lovely, or Precious. Chadama just didn’t seem to fit how much of a miracle of life she represented. I had never felt so happy and sad and amazed. 21 years later I still feel the depth of love as if it were my first time seeing her.

Over the years, we have had many up’s and a few downs. I see my life with her has a wonderful adventure. Each year bringing a new gift and a new way of being with her. Here’s to 21++++ more years!

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I know why the caged Bird SIngs
January 8, 2013

This is a very popular title. Although I’ve never read the book, today it hit me. I sing (complain, hate getting up in the morning) because I deal with sibling conflict every morning. It drains me.  

From Dec 17, 2012 to Jan 7, 2013 my little ones were on vacation, and my adult child stayed home with them, so I did not have to wake them for two weeks and I was able to sleep until after 7am. 

My point is, this morning, the second day back to school Kamilah (6) comes to me crying, saying that Asha (7) is “messing” with her. Asha yells back “she’s lying”. Kamilah falls out on the carpet and starts kicking and screaming. I’m eating breakfast and refuse to get involved with the routine fights of the morning, so I pushed Kamilah to go brush her teeth in the other bathroom. She cried a little longer, but was quiet all the way to school.

Asha was upset that I asked about the events in the bathroom, and almost teared up, but stopped. She pouted until we reached outside, then she angrily stated “it’s cold and i hate walking in the cold”. Now yesterday it was cold, and she said “tomorrow I’m wearing my big purple coat so that I’ll be warm”. Ask yourself, “did she wear the purple coat, or the pretty new sweater she got for x-mas?” You’re correct, she wore the pretty sweater. I reminded her before we left the house that she wanted to wear the purple coat. Five blocks later, she still had a frown on her face, so I asked “what’s the matter are you still too cold?” She said, “No” I asked “well what’s wrong?”… Are you ready for the reply? She said, “I can’t see the moon.”

This would have been funny, if they hadn’t already drained a bit from me with the fight earlier this morning. 

From this point on, I will sing a different tune. No more complaints only solutions.  

 

Adama 

 

Summer Nanny
January 4, 2013

Good Morning, 

I’m creating a project that will involve 20 nannies volunteering their time (up to 10 hours per week) to single parents, who would otherwise not be able to afford help, and does not have family support, for this summer. I am now looking for any research or articles that show the positive effects that regular support has on a family (parent and child). If you know of any leads, please post links in your comments.

If this has been done before, please post links to the results (if documented) and/or nannies, childcare providers, and families who were involved. 

Thank you so much, 

Adama

 

 

Untitled
August 27, 2012

Each time my kids dad doesn’t show up, I am made stronger in my conviction to have enough for us to live. Not to only eat, and have a place to stay, but to enjoy our time together and our time here on this beautiful planet. 

Because I have made many mistakes, I am a little hesitant when I know I need to make another. I find myself in a very good place of not feeling desperate. I feel that this is the prime time for me to make changes that have a positive impact/outcome on our lives. 

I feel so strong!

No Title
April 19, 2012

How do I talk about something I have fears about disclosing? When I first created this blog, I hoped that I’d tell it like it is. Well something happened, and now I find myself concerned about who’s listening to me. I have a heavy load on me now, but I don’t think it’s as heavy as my daughters’. Today feeling and knowing I’m powerless NOT helpless scares and empowers me. 

 

Adama