My Inspiration!
October 10, 2013

My Inspiration!

me and 2/3 of my crew.

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So I have a child that really does
June 12, 2013

So I have a child that really does not like following directions, and if something is in front of her that she doesn’t want to do, she will not. She’s almost 8, and I’ve gotten used to her crying spells (she cries for 40 minutes on average), which have gotten better since she was a toddler, but harder to deal with because she’s a lot older. She has zero coping skills or strong manipulative skills. I can’t yet figure that out, but she is VERY smart.

She had a dental appointment today, and prior to our arrival, she said, “momma I don’t want to go to the dentist, and when that try to open my mouth with the tool, I’m going to push it out with my tongue”. She made good on that promise. Her behavior was so upsetting that I cried, just a little. I feel that changes need to be made in how I discipline my daughters, and how I run my house. 

I’m coming to realize, that although it’s nice to be fare, I can not use a democratic method raising children. they need a strong leader, and sometimes even a dictator.  Today was the worse day with her. and that’s saying something. 

How did I punish her? I gave her a lengthy “time out” with a promise of double time if that happens again. 

I’m a single parent, and I’m tired. 

It’s been a really long time since I’ve
May 9, 2013

It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything. In honor of my children and mother, I want to write some thing. here it is:

S/O to my girls. My oldest, who I’ve had the longest, we’ve been through up’s and down’s more up’s then downs. I’ve taken her across the country and back 3 times. I’ve attended all her sporting events, replaced at least 6 pair of glasses and 5 phones all of which cost more than what I had. She was my easiest pregnancy and birth and child. She fooled me into taking on

Asha, my 2nd born. From birth she’s cried the river Nile. I was at the dr. every 2 wks my entire pregnancy, and her birth was PAINFUL. I found her soft spot. Asha is a very loving child who loves to cuddle, and eat, and cry. She’s a self proclaimed artist, and a penny-pincher. She’s my heart. I think her unique take on life makes me ever aware of whom I am. When I was pregnant with her, I asked their father for another one. He said “no”, but 16 months later

Kamilah, was born, 6lbs 4oz. my smallest child. I call her my little baby. She’s always slept with me. I’ve felt because she was so small that I needed to watch over her. At 6 she has claimed my very space. Her sisters think she’s the favorite, but she’s not. She’s just my little baby. She will not practice boundaries. What’s mine is hers. She has made it clear that she can and will not be shaken off my sleeve. 

These three daughters are my reason for getting up when I’m beat down. They are the reason I smile, laugh, cry, and have hope for the future of humanity.

This is my thank you to them for making the 5 letter word “mommy” the most special word in the spoken word vocabulary. Mother’s day is every day when you’re a mother. 

~Adama

I know why the caged Bird SIngs
January 8, 2013

This is a very popular title. Although I’ve never read the book, today it hit me. I sing (complain, hate getting up in the morning) because I deal with sibling conflict every morning. It drains me.  

From Dec 17, 2012 to Jan 7, 2013 my little ones were on vacation, and my adult child stayed home with them, so I did not have to wake them for two weeks and I was able to sleep until after 7am. 

My point is, this morning, the second day back to school Kamilah (6) comes to me crying, saying that Asha (7) is “messing” with her. Asha yells back “she’s lying”. Kamilah falls out on the carpet and starts kicking and screaming. I’m eating breakfast and refuse to get involved with the routine fights of the morning, so I pushed Kamilah to go brush her teeth in the other bathroom. She cried a little longer, but was quiet all the way to school.

Asha was upset that I asked about the events in the bathroom, and almost teared up, but stopped. She pouted until we reached outside, then she angrily stated “it’s cold and i hate walking in the cold”. Now yesterday it was cold, and she said “tomorrow I’m wearing my big purple coat so that I’ll be warm”. Ask yourself, “did she wear the purple coat, or the pretty new sweater she got for x-mas?” You’re correct, she wore the pretty sweater. I reminded her before we left the house that she wanted to wear the purple coat. Five blocks later, she still had a frown on her face, so I asked “what’s the matter are you still too cold?” She said, “No” I asked “well what’s wrong?”… Are you ready for the reply? She said, “I can’t see the moon.”

This would have been funny, if they hadn’t already drained a bit from me with the fight earlier this morning. 

From this point on, I will sing a different tune. No more complaints only solutions.  

 

Adama 

 

Summer Nanny
January 4, 2013

Good Morning, 

I’m creating a project that will involve 20 nannies volunteering their time (up to 10 hours per week) to single parents, who would otherwise not be able to afford help, and does not have family support, for this summer. I am now looking for any research or articles that show the positive effects that regular support has on a family (parent and child). If you know of any leads, please post links in your comments.

If this has been done before, please post links to the results (if documented) and/or nannies, childcare providers, and families who were involved. 

Thank you so much, 

Adama

 

 

Balancing act
January 3, 2013

Coming into 2013, I have made my mind up to write my life as my dream come true life. In this dream life, I’ll have time to volunteer at my girls school, serve in my community of single parents as a leader who brings balance and creativity in seeking that balance. 

For my children, all they will need are swim lessons and a dance/art class (depending on child), and for my oldest proper guidance in creating her life goals. 

As a part-time graduate student, full-time working, single parent, in 2012 I resolved to not chase money. 2013 I see me chasing my dreams, and I hear by doing that the means to care for my family will come. I’m standing up using my true voice and claiming what is mine. I am excited about the possibilities of today and tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

Adama

This is the Life
October 11, 2011

Greetings,

It’s been a long three days. My 2nd born was ill Friday, but I think she was afraid that she’d be in trouble with her teacher. She misplaced the star of the week bear. We found it.

I’m getting ready to have it all. me time, them time, and we time.

Sept 30-TIRED
October 1, 2011

In keeping my Blog public, I will not reveal my children’s names, but I feel that it is time for formal introductions.

My little baby, this morning she said, “When I was little, and you pushed me in the stroller, I saw a chicken and I was scared of it” Really? I thought to myself. Her stories are about 2 things: when she was little (she’s only about 3.5 ft tall), and how in love she is.

My second born, Oh boy, she used to cry so much that I had to constantly say, “I love you”. at 6yrs old, she can sound out most words she hears spelled. her appetite is as large as mine. lol her and I share birth order, so when I want to show connection with her, I use two fingers and tap them on my shoulder saying Second born. This ALWAYS brings a smile to her face.

My teenager, she is very helpful, but if asked for assistance, she’ll resist. she looooves sugar, like her mom.  When I look at her, it is unbelievable how big she is. I miss holding her as a small child. Oh when she tells stories, they are long stories. she doesn’t miss a single detail.

Then there’s the mom, single, and have been for the past 4 yrs. I have a full time job, and I hardly ever have a moment to myself. This is because I have not asked for help. Today I’m asking for assistance with childcare, and I feel guilty most times if I’m needing some time alone. I do 95% of the lives for all of us alone, but I’m finding that I need to do less than that. From my experience and desire for my children to be well loved, and me a balanced life, my desire to live alone and be alone, are diminishing.

Adama

Sept 29th
September 30, 2011

9:27pm and both little ones are sleeping. they proudly completed their homework, and I patiently and proudly assisted. I read to one then paused and guided the other with tally marks. There were a ton of tally marks in this assignment.  I created spaghetti with butter, whole corn, lemon pepper, and salt for dinner, and they loved it.  With only my income supporting the 4 of us, and one more full day until pay day, we are STRAPPED for food. Tomorrows dinner will be interesting.

My teen is in her room on the phone and she wants to leave school 6 weeks into her first semester. I’ve said her entire life that I will support anything, except a choice to do NOTHING. Give me your plan, and I’ll help you get there.  I am surprisingly NOT shocked that I have EVERY intention to NOT support an adult child that doesn’t want to assist in her own support.

Adama

Ending Sept 28, 2011
September 29, 2011

Today is my mother’s 57th birthday, and she’s in the hospital recovering from a nasty fall.  2 of my daughters and I visited her for a short time this evening.

This day began with us having an extra 15 minutes of sleep, which left us 35 minutes to get dressed and leave for school and work. The commute was quieter than usual. Usually one of my little ones find a reason to cry, and I’m rushing, not physically, to get them to school (those poor teachers).  With the quiet commute, I was able to be with my children for this short time we have before leaving them for 10 hours.

So the end of our day, was lovely. I so appreciate my mother, children and the teachers in between.

Adama